The Vita Escort – On How to Celebrate America’s Birthday

| June 27, 2014

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Long live the red, white and blue.

It may technically not be until next Friday, but the Fourth of July is the best part of any summer.

Bringing together great friends, family and lots of memories, we’re all reminded why it’s great to be American for at least one day every year.

And since it’s a shout-out to our Forefathers, we’re letting you know how to appropriately celebrate the greatest damn country in the world—just like they did back in 1776.

This is the Vita Escort on how to celebrate America’s Birthday.

8. On a Lake or At a Pool

Is there truly any other way to celebrate the Fourth of July than being lathered up in sunscreen and laying out around a pool or enjoying a floating dock on a lake?

We definitely don’t think so—and neither should you.

With temperatures often above the mid-80s, dipping your toes in the water and enjoying the cool water is refreshing—just remember to doggy paddle to stay afloat.

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7. Boats

On the topic of water, while it’s always a blast swimming in the water, there are few things better than a boat to enjoy everything about warm weather.

Whether relaxing on a sail or pontoon boat, or tubing on a speed boat, having a boat to celebrate America’s birthday is something that our forefathers would appreciate if they were still around—after all, what do you think Columbus used to discover this country? It wasn’t an airplane.

6. Budwieser

For those who are counting calories and worried about how they’ll look in a mankini, this holiday isn’t for you.

That’s because the Fourth of July offers one day—or in this year’s case, one weekend—where the only beer anyone should be drinking is Budweiser.

We’re not talking Bud Light or something that’s described as a “crisp, cool, summer ale,” either.

We’re talking Bug Heavy, complete with the American Flag can for extra effect—so roll up those sleeves and drink a few cold ones.

5. Jean Shorts

Jorts is typically a fashion statement that people should stay away from—not on the Fourth of July, though.

We’re not quite sure when the decision was made that denim would be the unofficial outfit for us great American people, but at some point it was adopted as being acceptable on July 4th.

And if you’re wondering, yes, this means guys are legally OK to get away with wearing those cargo jean shorts that have been collecting dust in your closet since the mid-‘90s.

Remember, the wackier the outfit, the better the party.

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4. BBQ

Want to know the beauty of barbecuing on the Fourth of July? It’s that all the calories you consume are empty.

No, seriously.

Every single Ruffle potato chip that you scoop in that onion dip and every hot dog you eat just vanishes as if it’s a free day to chow—and you better believe we chow.

So fire up that grille and toss on the hamburgers, hot dogs, sausages, veggie burgers and chicken, because the smell of BBQ on the Fourth of July is an American holiday in itself.

3. Rock n’ Roll

Now’s not the time to get cute with your playlist—you’re not running five miles here.

This is when you break out hits from classic rock bands like The Rolling Stones, Lynyrd Skynyrd and, naturally, Hendrix.

Rock n’ Roll is what built this country—sort of—and when you’ve got a backyard full of friends and family singing every single word, you’ll be proud that you deleted that mix that included all those poppy songs kids are listening to these days.

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2. LOTS of American Flags

Like we mentioned when talking about jean shorts, the wackier the outfit, the bigger the party—and once should never be bashful in wearing the stars and stripes.

Sunglasses, headbands, towels, flags as skirts; these are all appropriate items to wear at the same time while blasting “The Star Spangled Banner” on repeat in your rusted up truck and a bald eagle following you down the highway.

OK, that’s a little bit absurd, but we’d have no problem anointing you a bigger American than the President if you did it.

1. Fireworks

After all of this fun in the sun, there’s only one way to close out the entire day—colorful explosions in the sky.

Go to the park and spend some quality time with friends to watch them or get yourself some to light off at your own house, because it’s the culmination of, what should have been, a great day—just remember to wear bug spray, you wouldn’t want the skeeters biting you to ruin the

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